If you read my last post, you would have heard all about my plans for cool, calm, happy holidays. Christmas and New Year were going to be a great time for me to get on with my own yoga practice as well as catching up with and having fun with family and friends. Fulfilling my daily yoga asana to help me through it all and how in the end everything would be ok!
Well that kind of worked.
The run up to Christmas was hectic but everything was done, wrapped, delivered and ready. Food was ordered. All plans put in place. Even organised and advertised my new year classes. Excited and hopeful for 2019.
Even Christmas Day everyone was happy with only a couple of tiredness tantrums and not even by me!
So, what went wrong?
On Boxing Day, I woke up with the flu. The actual Flu, aches and pain, freezing and boiling, coughing and choking, nausea and stomach cramps. If there was a flu symptom, I had it BAD!
The last 2 weeks have been a physical and emotional washout with 4 days pretty much a blur. No friends, no family, no visiting, no food, no fun, no Yoga, no meditation, no training, no study.
This is not what I planned.
As much as I am gutted at how awful I felt and to have missed all the beautiful food, company and game, I missed my yoga most.
Is this sad? I hope not, I hope it’s a sign of my commitment and love of a practice that has changed my life.
The longest I have gone without yoga practice in the last 4 years was 2 days and for these last 2 weeks I have been barely able to stand. At the beginning there was no option but now as I improve it is getting frustrating.
For someone that believed themselves to be strong, fit and healthy, I have no strength, no energy, no stamina. Walking is a struggle. Tadasana is exhausting. Having had to cancel my classes that I teach and attend, I feel completely lost. My favourite life-changing thing is beyond my grasp.
What do I do?
There is a temptation to be miserable, to feel sorry for myself but what will that achieve?
Instead I will be grateful. Be grateful that I am getting better. Be grateful that my body helped me fight the flu. Be grateful that there was help at home. Be grateful that yoga has already helped me once and that it will again.
Maybe tomorrow will be that new beginning!? but for now I will keep comfy cosy.