I have been thinking about this post for a long time.
Body Shape, Body size.
I think I have been avoiding it because it is so loaded. Talking about weight, shape and size is such a trigger for people, myself included. And once the surface is scratched it uncovers a vast mess of stories, opinions and ideas.
Why are we so obsessed.
So I will start with some questions.
Does someone’s shape and size affect their love, compassion, kindness and beauty?
Does someone’s shape and size make them less intelligent, less succesful, less professional?
Does someone’s shape and size make them less worthy?
So clearly my answer to all of the above questions is NO. That is not always the case for others though.
So what gives anyone the right to make comment on someone else’s shape and size?
I don’t think there is any justification in judging someones weight, shape or size.
It is quite simply rude.
So what if that judgement comes from the self?
From a young age I heard the words
‘nobody loves a fat person’ on a daily basis. I heard them because they were directed at me by my mother.
To be honest I have no memory if it affected me as a child but I know I was underweight and I know it confused me hearing my mother’s judgements and cruelty condemning anyone that she deemed to be overweight. I had never found anyone lacking because of their size. In fact all the bigger ladies within my family were (and are) abundant with love.
As I got older I questioned my own self worth as a human being because of my shape and size. Despite never being bigger than a size 10 (other than my 3 pregnancies) I spent my Teens, Twenties, Thirties and Forties listening to my mothers voice in my head thinking I was fat and therefore unlovable. This moved me in and out depression and anxiety. Stole my confidence and stopped me doing so many things.
It has taken me until in my Fifties to realise that my shape and size is irrelevant. My own Yoga practice and my work training as a Shamanic Practioner, working with other practitioners has helped me begin to heal that part of me, still a work in progress.
Also watching my three beautiful daughters growing into womanhood has been inspiring and they are my hope for the future.
My goal is to be fit healthy and love the body I have. I have made it part of my daily gratitude practice to say something nice about my body.
My feet are a little like hobbit feet but they keep me balanced and have kept me walking, dancing, running all my life.
My arms and hands are big and strong to hold all those that I love.
My belly is soft and has tiger markings from my 3 beautiful children.
My lap is big to bounce grandchildren, pet cats and keep me warm in winter.
My bottom wobbles but I no longer get sore sitting on walls watching sunsets.
Sometimes I’m just grateful my heart beats ♡
Our goal should be to be fit and strong and healthy, physically and emotionally in whatever shape that arrives in?
My mothers voice no longer echoes around my head and heart but there is sadness as I realise that this is the voice she still scolds herself with everyday.
Moving forward in my own life as a yoga teacher and a person that loves all things yoga I find it hard that a lot of the social media around Yoga and some of the classes are still based on the the idea of the perfect body and perfect pose. I hope to be one of the many teachers that are on a path to change that dynamic.
So if someone judges you on how you look, your shape, your size, tell them it’s none of their business.
If you hear yourself judging yourself, stop and try to be kind.
Ask yourself if this is your true voice? Is what you are saying true?
Don’t spend your life feeling insecure about your shape and size because of someone else’s voice.
Find one (or two or three) beautiful things to say about yourself today. And then everyday. And learn to love your body.
I know it’s not easy but I also know whatever shape or size you are that you are an amazing human being ♡